Do you stay connected with your friends? After motherhood it’s typically not on your priority list, but let me tell you why it should be. As mothers (and women altogether) we go through very similar paths in life that connect us in some ways. As a mom, our children can get the best of us and sometimes drain us emotionally. As women we face struggles in society, pressure to look and feel a certain way, fitting in, staying true to our faith. As wives we face time constraints, or even feel like we need an outlet. So for all of us out there, there’s always some situation that is better to be lived with someone, than to be lived alone. Doing life, and struggles with our friends, sisters is what the bible calls for after all. As it says in Galatians 6:2 “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.”
So I’m here to show you mommas out there 5 ways that I, as a mother of 3 and working wife, stay connected with my girlfriends constantly.
# 1. Set up reminders on calendar / phone
I know this sounds like such a task, but honestly, when you have a million things on your mind and on your to do list, taking 1 minute to set up a reminder to call a friend, is a game changer! Take a minute, schedule a phone call at a time when you typically have a few free minutes to check up on a friend, and actually make the call. Don’t procrastinate! Friendships are a 2 way street and you have to put in the effort.
How it looks like in my book? I park about half a mile away from where I work since I don’t have a parking pass. I have to walk for a good 10 minutes and this is when I’ve scheduled all my friend calls for. I work Monday through Friday, so I have 5-1o minute opportunities (yes I said opportunities lol) to connect with my friends, possibly even schedule a girls night with them on these calls.
# 2. Social Media
As much as people may say that Social Media can be majorly distracting, and to some extent I agree, it can also work as a tool to keep you connected with your girlfriends! Whether it’s Facebook, Instagram or whatever platform, you can be actively liking, commenting on your close friend’s posts, pictures and so on. Essentially staying present in some way so that your friendship does not fade away.
How it looks in my book? After I take my son and daughter to school in the morning and come back home, usually I’ll make a quick breakfast for me and my baby Paulette and while she eats hers and I mine, I browse through my social media accounts and add comments, like pictures on my friend’s pages. They usually reply and we’ve connected in a way.
# 3. Friends that have kids (playdates)
This is a very easy way to meet up with your girlfriends that also have children. They usually have toys in there home, as you do in yours, so even inviting them over, or visiting them can be quite easy and not stressful. You don’t have to worry about finding a babysitter so that’s a big task taken off your plate! Your kids will play with your friend’s kids and you get to enjoy some time to chat. Of course interruptions are inevitable anytime you have kids around, but hey, it’s better than not hanging out at all!
How it looks in my book? I have a cousin, which is considered a girlfriend, and she has a son so I invite her over occasionally and we have coffee and breakfast here at my place. I have a play area for the kids and I also have movies ready to go. This time is so valuable to me, because I know that she took the time of day to come over and stay connected with me and as a mom I know exactly what it entitles!
# 4. Attending a Women’s Bible Study (that provides childcare)
This one, ladies, is probably the most important one. Not only because your kids are being cared for so you can have a little break, but because you will learn and be enlightened by the word of God and connect in a spiritual level with women that are in the same path as you, that have faith in God as you do. The kids are safe, you get a break, you are studying the Bible and you are connecting with new women. Friendships will flourish with time and God will use you and these women in each other’s lives. It’s an amazing thing.
How it looks in my book? I go to the Women’s Bible Study at my church once a week. I look forward to this day, SO MUCH, because it is my outlet to life as a mother, wife, woman. I drop off the kids at the childcare and walk over to my class. I know my kids are safe, and if anything arises I will get contacted immediately and I’m literally steps away from them. I’m at my study for about an hour and then I feel refreshed when I leave and ready to take on the rest of the week. I pick up the kids and go home to start bedtime routine with them. This is one of the best investments of time that I currently make.
# 5. 24 Hour Cafe
Find a cafe in your area that is open 24 hours. I’m so blessed to have found a coffee house that is open 24 hours close to my home. Parking is a bit of a struggle, but nothing too crazy. This is a perfect way to meet up with your girls when you are done with your responsibilities at home and still have the energy to drive and sit and chat.
How it looks in my book? I have been using this tip the most lately. I have a friend (sister in Christ) that has children that are much older than mine. She has more availability (as far as time) than me. So we plan a day when we’re going to meet late at that cafe. I talk to my husband so he knows I’ll be home late. I put the kids to bed, which is typically by 9:30pm. I kiss the hubbs goodbye and I drive off, pick up my friend and drive to the cafe. We get a frap or hot coffee (decaf) depending on the weather and we have amazing talks and we leave so inspired and satisfied with our time of fellowship. We usually stay for about an hour then I take her home and drive home myself. I’m home by around 11:30 ish to my kids sound asleep and then I finally go to bed. I love the fact that my friend will wait up until I can leave my house haha.
Alright ladies, these are my tips for keeping friends after motherhood. I hope you can take something away from them and let me know if any of these were new to you, or maybe give this momma some more ideas!
Thank you for reading and until next time!